Parenting a Child With ADHD
Parenting a child with ADHD can be overwhelming for both
children and parents. However, providing
appropriate environmental, physical and emotional support to your child can
make the disorder more manageable for both parents and children. More importantly, appropriate parental
support can make the difference between success and failure for the ADHD child.
Parents can help their child manage difficulties with
organization, attention, and activity levels by providing a home environment
that helps, rather than exacerbates these struggles. First, help your child
maintain a neat an organized bedroom.
Children with ADHD tend to loose important items on a regular basis,
therefore a cluttered and disorganized room will only make this tendency worse.
Loosing things is frustrating for your child and when it happens frequently,
can begin to wear down self- esteem. Hang
hooks for bags, purses or other items that can be hung, designate drawers or
shelves for items like chargers, cell phones, cameras, and other small
electronics that can easily be misplaced.
Encourage your child to keep the room as neat and organized as
possible. If your child is younger, you
can do the chore together. Next,
designate a place for homework to be done.
This should be a clean and uncluttered surface such as a desk or table,
with good light and minimal distractions.
Try to provide a comfortable chair that does not wobble or spin, since
this can also become a distraction for your child. If it is difficult to provide quiet for your
child during homework time, consider using an Ipod with classical music to
block out noise from elsewhere in the house.
Providing a structured daily routine is a tool parents can
use to help with difficulties with low frustration tolerance and other behavior
issues.
Try to structure daily activities with as much consistency
as possible. Establish a morning and
evening routine that is consistent each day. The morning could involve waking
up, eating breakfast, getting dressed, etc. in a specific order each day; while
the evening routine may involve watching TV, a shower or bath, and a bedtime
story. Try to keep the routines the same
each day, so that your child knows what to expect, and what is expected of him
or her. In addition, attempt to
establish homework time as early in the day as possible, before settling down
in front of the TV. Children with ADHD
have limited attention in the best of situations; therefore attempting homework
later in the evening when he or she is exhausted is never a good idea.
Helping your child to stay physically healthy and feeling
good is another way parents can support their ADHD child. Appropriate sleep, diet and exercise is
important for all children, but is especially so for children with attention
deficits. Feeling tired, hungry, or
sick, will significantly add to the concentration and attention issues that
your child is already struggling with.
Try to maintain consistent bedtimes that allow your child a solid 8-10
hours of sleep (teenagers may not appreciate this, however for younger children
it is very important). Establish good
eating habits by encouraging a healthy breakfast before school, and try to ensure
that your child gets some physical exercise sometime during the afternoon after
he or she gets home from school.
Consistent and healthy meals, good sleeping habits and exercise will
help your child stay physically fit, thereby making him or her less likely to
succumb to illness.
Lastly, consider giving your child some type of
responsibility around the house. It
should be something simple, like emptying the trash in the kitchen, emptying
the dishwasher, drying dishes, clearing the table, etc. Household chores hold important lessons for
all children, however, they can be especially important for children with
attention deficits and behavior issues.
The expectation that your child participate in household chores shows
your confidence in their ability to handle responsibility. This can be a great way to boost self-esteem,
an issue many ADHD children struggle with.
A child with ADHD faces many challenges in the school
environment. Parental involvement in
supporting their child begins at home, and often extends into personal
involvement with their child’s school personnel, depending on the child’s age
and level of disability.
Building on the previous principle of keeping the child’s
life as organized and uncluttered as possible, parents need to help their child
keep their school bag and supplies neat and organized. A backpack that your child has chosen and
finds comfortable, is a good place to start.
The backpack should have one or two small compartments in the front, and
at least two larger zipper compartments in the main body. Too many compartments can make it difficult
to find things, and too few compartments often result in a disorganized
mess-also making things difficult to find.
The small front compartments are great for basic small school supplies,
such as pens, pencils, erasers, highlighters, sticky notes, etc. Use the other compartment for more personal
small items, such as money. Try to
organize the rest of the backpack so that one compartment holds books, and the
other binders and folders. It is also a
good idea to have a designated compartment for food items; otherwise these tend
to get mashed into important homework assignments and textbooks.
Next, organize binders, notebooks and folders. Depending on what the particular teacher requires,
it is helpful to coordinate subjects by color.
For example, use a red folder, a red notebook and a red binder for
math. Red sticky notes and a red
highlighter help complete the package and make it fun for your child. Lastly, your child will need an assignment
pad. This can be a smaller spiral
notebook with blank lines, or one with pages already dated. Remember to involve your child in choosing
all the school supplies and in deciding how to organize the backpack. The more involved he or she is, the better
the rate of follow-through in using the supplies appropriately.
Establish that homework will be completed before beginning
any leisure activities, whenever possible.
Homework time is often difficult for children with ADHD. They become frustrated easily, often rush
through assignments leaving them partially incomplete, and commonly overlook
directions. Therefore, your child will
have more success with homework if he or she is alert and motivated to finish
by the promise of something fun when the work is completed properly. Make sure
your child has a quiet place to work that is free from clutter and other
distractions. You may need to check the
assignment pad, to insure all homework has been written down and help your
child verify that each completed assignment has been put in the appropriate
folder and stored in the backpack. Make
sure your child has packed up for school before going to bed. The backpack and any other items necessary
for the next day should be packed and waiting by the door, before bedtime. This simple precaution will drastically
reduce the chances of your child forgetting to bring important items to school
the next day.
Parents of children with ADHD often have to decide the
degree of involvement, if any, they require from the child’s school. Some children will prefer to manage their
ADHD without involving the school. It is
recommended that they be allowed to attempt this approach. However, if your
child continues to struggle, schools can offer a wide range of assistance to a
child with ADHD. Interventions can be
subtle, such as a seat in the front of the class, a “buddy” or class friend to
help explain or restate directions that the child may have missed, and the
teacher sending the child on errands during the day to provide extra physical
activity and a break from the classroom. Younger children may respond well to
the institution of a behavior chart that is sent home at the end of the week,
thereby informing parents how the week unfolded. Some children will benefit from having the
teacher check their assignment pad at the end of the day and sign off,
indicating that the homework has been correctly recorded. Parents then have an accurate list of
assignments to help them determine that all homework is accounted for and back
into the child’s backpack for the next day.
Most of these interventions can be instituted by a conversation with the
child’s teacher and/or guidance counselor, and do not often require a formal
evaluation by the school. Interventions
can also be instituted on a larger scale, such as allowing more time on tests
and long-term projects, or the development of an Individual Education Plan, or
IEP. These interventions usually require
an evaluation by a Child Study Team.
Although Child Study Team evaluations are often initiated by
school personnel, parents can request such an evaluation as well, by speaking
with their child’s teacher. A Child
Study Team usually consists of a team of school professionals from different
ancillary services, who evaluate and test the child in several different
relevant areas, such as cognitive ability, fine and gross motor skills, speech
and language skills, and social skills.
The evaluation may also include a medical examination by a doctor, to
rule out physical illness or disability, or to provide a medical diagnosis,
such as ADHD. If your child is evaluated
by a Child Study Team, the results and proposed interventions will be discussed
with you upon completion of the evaluation.
Several different types of professional interventions are
available to parents of children with ADHD, who are feeling overwhelmed and in
need of support. Mental health
professionals, such as psychologists or social workers, can help parents and
families manage many of the suggestions and interventions detailed above.
Mental Health professionals can offer emotional and psychological support, as
well as concrete suggestions and ideas for handling difficult situations.
Medical professionals can also offer intervention in the
form of medication, for children with ADHD.
The decision to begin medication therapy is often an extremely difficult
one for parents. Many parents feel
guilty about medicating their child, and blame themselves for not being better
parents. However, medication can make a
tremendous difference in the child’s ability to concentrate and learn, in
addition to helping with socially appropriate behavior. These skills are critical to a developing
child, and for this reason, many parents are able to consider this intervention
as an appropriate one for their child.
Medication therapy is most effective when combined with the home and
school interventions previously discussed.
Parents and children with ADHD will be most successful when
they keep an open dialogue about the difficulties of living with attention
deficit disorder. Parents should explain
this disability to their child in an age appropriate way, and involve their
child in decisions about what types of interventions are appropriate, whenever
possible. The more a child understands
and participates in treatment, the more successful they will be in living with
their attention deficit.
